Friday, May 20, 2011

Stephen's Suggestions 5/21/2011

Here comes another round of suggestions with a side order of sarcasm from yours truly.

SPORTS: Bulls/Heat  I know it's kind of a big deal, but I thought you may need a reminder that this series was still going on since NBA playoff games occur about as often as paydays come around. The first two games were good and this series has all the makings of a classic. No disrespect to the Thunder or Mavs, but no matter who makes the Finals I can't imagine either of them being favorites. If Udonis Haslem brings 13 points a night like he did in game two, then the Heat will have a much better chance to beat the more balanced Bulls. At the start of the Playoffs I had the Heat coming out of the East, but I switched to the Bulls before this series. I just think it is going to be hard for the Heat to score the win when their supporting cast is about as attractive as a 50 year old maid named Mildred...........then again. Also, look for the refs to continue to impact both series as much or more than any of the players.

FOOD: Buffalo Quesadillas Some of the greatest foods ever were invented in the middle of the night when little ingredients were available. This exact situation a few months back led me to my current favorite snack food. I like to call it the Buffalo Quesadilla. Take two tortillas and throw about 1/2 a bag of shredded fiesta cheese in the middle of them. Place said quesadilla in microwave for 50 seconds. While that is being perfected into a greasy heap of cheesy goodness, gather one bowl, ranch dressing, and buffalo wing sauce. In the bowl mix 4 parts ranch with one part buffalo sauce. Take your quesadilla out and dip into the buffalo ranch dressing. For best results eat alone on the couch. My wife refuses to even sit next to me while I eat this, and my stomach has cursed me for eternity, but the tasty revelation that is the buffalo quesadilla is worth every hardship.

BOOKS: Pirate Latitudes The new Pirates of the Caribbean came out this week, but do you really want to subject yourself to another one of those terrible movies. Instead I would recommend this action novel from the late Michael Crichton. The completed manuscript was found after his death in 2008, and really, can you imagine finding any movie of substance from Jerry Bruckheimer after he kicks the bucket? I'm only 100 pages in and already the book is more fun than all of the Pirates movies combined. If you absolutely must have some pirates in your life this summer read Pirate Latitudes and encourage Disney to give up on the boring sequels.

SAFETY: Zombie Apocalypse In case you missed the news this week the CDC issued recommendations for preparing for a zombie infestation. YES, that CDC. The government run centers for disease control is making sure we are all prepared in case Michael Jackson comes back to chase our first born sons. As someone who has seen more than a few zombie films, and counts The Walking Dead as one of his favorite TV shows, I feel like a minor expert on zombie issues. The CDC is saying to have food and water stored, a first aid kit, blah blah blah etc. etc. If zombies run the Earth, I will be furiously chomping down on asparagus and drinking pickle juice. Anything that makes your urine smell that bad has got to be a deterrent for flesh eating zombies........... On second thought, maybe we have found a new purpose for the tasty yet repulsive buffalo quesadilla.

Those are my suggestions for the week. Take 'em or leave 'em.

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